


Digging Deeper

by AesopKarlMarx



Category: IDENTITY V, idv
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:47:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 19
Words: 6,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26733079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AesopKarlMarx/pseuds/AesopKarlMarx
Summary: haha idv machine go BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRkreacher will commit kreacher crimes and get into kreach-trouble
Relationships: kreacher Pierson / Andrew Kreiss
Comments: 6
Kudos: 29





	1. Chapter 1

Kreacher was walking one day, mumbling to himself. He saw the skies blacken and said, "kreacher must get home, do crimes"  
Suddenly, a debateably tall, maybe 5'9 dude comes up to him. kreacher realizes he is in the cemetery and says "kreacher thinks youre a ghost"  
suddenly, the man bonks him with a shovel.  
kreacher wakes up, his belongings are gone....  
no one is there....  
the end


	2. Chapter 2

"I hate thje internets" kreacher says, browsing cute reddits. he wants violence. krewahcer decides to lesave the local library, and go wander around to break into houses  
kreacher wanders into some field. he sees a house in the distance and goes cloer. there is alsoa c emetery.  
"kreacher will commit crimes here." he said, throwing a brick into the window  
kreacher then goes to see if the front door is locked. it is not.  
kreacher rummages through the beloningds....  
"it is the ghost man, kreacher thinks" he says, holding a picture of the ghostly man. he stares.   
before he can say another word, he is bonked yet again, and wakes up without his keys.


	3. Chapter 3

Kreacher, forgetting the last events, woke up one morning in his kreacgher bed. he slammed his nonexistant kreacher alarm clock, and saisd "kreacher gets up now."  
kreacher got out of bed, put on his kreach-clothes and headed out to idk burn down an orphanage or something.  
kreache rwalked past a large church and stsared. seemed familiar....kreacher will commit crimes.  
kreacher walked into the cemetery. he went up to the stained ghlass windows. he thought, "why are they called strianed glass, there are no stains, kreacher is smart" then, he threw mud at it "there. kreacher has stained it."  
kreacher then broke into the church by using the front door, which, naturally was unlocked.  
he then snooped arounhd. this looked familiar...he then took forom the collection plate cold hard dough and ate some communion wafers.  
he then sat downa dn counted the kreacher-cash.  
"kreacher can buy so many fedoras with this money" he grubbily grumbled. suddenly...there was a noise  
"you are not a catholic" a voice boomed "you threw corpse mud at the windows"  
then, he blacked out...another shovel bonk


	4. Chapter 4

"Rat ass looking bastard" Andrew thought, swooping his emo bangs away. He looked at the rat assmlooking bastard, he looked at the blood covered stained glass. "Grrrrr. Bark, bark bark"  
Andrew decided he should do the responsible thing. Call a lawyer and sue thenbastard.  
He looked through the yellowmpages. L is for lawyer. Damn. He cant read. He found some mouse looking man and hit the number pad on his offificla churhx phone.  
"Can u come tomchurch"  
"I am athetisr i do not believw in god but i believe in ur wallet"  
Andrew hugn up. Maybe thisnwas a bad idea. Even worse than smelly men are capitalistic smelly men. He lookedd at kreacher. It was self defense right. He was alive...right?  
Before checking, andrew cleamed up the communion wafers. Jesusus body was safe for now. He took back the stolen 5 dimes in the collection playe. His now.  
It wasnt even an day later and the lawyer showed up, Freeddy Riley. He got out of his ecomfriendly tesla and looked around. Elon musk would be aghast, he thought. He walked into the churhc, noticing the mud on the stained glass.   
"Did u call me" he said....sexily....  
"Yea."  
"Whats up catholic man"  
"He broke in and ruined the window"  
"A point for athetism..." freddy riley thought out loud. Andrew stared, started by a moan......the theif was alive after all!


	5. Chapter 5

"uooooughghghgh ooga....Kreacher pain...kreacher framed" Kreached moaned. Andrew went over and crashed his shovel down next to themman. Kreacher writhed in pain, holding his head....Freddy Riley and Andrew The Grave Boy stood around the strange smelling man. Andrew scoffed and said with his soft puppy dog of a voice, "corpse mud doesnt even mask this smell"  
"And you people believe we didnt evolve? Check one for atheism" freddy riley said, babbling annoyingly in the background, his pecs rippling in the setting sun on the mud-covered window.  
"Why are you here"  
"Kreacher praying' kreacher said, more communion wafers cracking as he writhed further, trying to get up. It was strange how he sustained no bloody injuries. It was a chridtmas mircacle after all, Andrew didnt think he'd get sued for smacking him. Cool. Freddy riley came over, running his spindly fingers through his ginger snap hair, it crinkling as he did so. He bent down, seductively "Hmmm, you might get tried for animal abuse for hitting this weirdo. Dont worry, i am rich and famous and crooked so i'll still sue his brains out. Ill evem take his dumb little hat in the closing."  
"NO!!! NOT KREAXHERS HAT" Kreacher stood up in a panic, screaming weirdly. Andrew was unphased. He probably had rocks thrown at him for being andrew a little yelling is whatvwer.  
"You stole from the collecton plate. Grrrrr" Andrew said in the softest voice; if soft toilet paper was two ply, he was 10 ply.   
"Kreacher thinks you csnt prove it."  
"I can" Andrew squeaked.  
'Nothing in Kreachers pockets...' kreacher ruffed, showing dimes falling out of his pocket, "Not efen keys theynwere stolen from Kreacher"  
"Those dimes are now mine" andrew said, picking the, up and pretendinf to put them back, but slipping the, up his sleeve.  
"This building is a safety hazard" freddy riley annoyingly gloated again, breaking a christmas display made by a young child, "tch. Check again for atheism."  
"Kreacher will leave now"  
"No..you cant" andrew threw back his emo bangs, getting some hair in his mouth and coffing.  
"HA WHWRES YOUR GOD TO SAVE YOU NOW?" Freddy riley said, checking his apple phone, with a phone case of steve jobs in a hot tub.  
"What will yoj do to kreacher?" Kreacher said, backing into a corner.  
"Divine intervention" Andrew said, raisinf his shovel


	6. Chapter 6

"Well look whst youve done" Frddy Riley the lawyer sexily hissed at the emo man standing above the theif, bonked again. Andrew sighed, like when the MCR concert he waited years for was postponed. He softly growled, "He kept calling himself creature it was freaking me out"   
"Tch. Typical, solving everything from violence. You need to instead invest in stocks and seduce peoples wives" Freddy riley the lawyer moaned, "Do u happen to hsve a wife."  
Andrew dthe hgrave boy just flipped his emo bangs again, briefly revealing his other eye. "What do we do with this dude" he softly said.  
"We dispose of the vody" Freddy said, moving his hands lnto his lack of hips, "What else do you do wen you kill a man, duh"  
"Do you think hes dead" Andrew said, holding back another bark bark bark grr growl bark  
"He's not gonna rise from the dead, same as jesus. Check mate for atheism." Freddy riley said, adjusting his dollar store glasses, tags still on. Andrew did as he had done before and ignored the seductive lawyer. Today, nor any day, was gonna be the day, mrmriley.  
Andrew decided to check the theifs pulse, butnupon moving him, he found more communion wafers pour out kf the mans sleeves. "What a freak," Andrew thought, blushing as he accidentally snapped some communion wafers. He decided to take a few himself, dinner was officially gotten now. One last stress he had to contend eith.  
"Hurry yp dojt u dig graves fpr a living?" Freddy riley impaitrntly slid the weight to the other side of his hips, checking his watch, even more impatiently.  
Andrew yet ahain ignored the steamy lawyer, trying to feel for a pulse from the man. He sat in silence, trying to figure it out...But damn, he was no doctor, he didnt know where veins were. Preemtively, he quietly yelled, "Well, ones alone, twos a party", reffering to the person he buried alove as well.  
"Dont worry i know some freak who csn deal with this mess." Freddy riley said, motioning the grave man who swooped his bangs yet again, out the door, "getminto my car"  
"Mom said not to trust lawers" Andrew softly replied  
"Do u wanna deal with this' freddy hissed  
"No...' andrew softly said, looking at the lawyer and his shit taste in fashion yet again. He sighed dramatically, remebering MCR breaking up in the first place. He channeled paramore in his head before grabbing the grubby mans lefs and dragging him out of the chr7ch...


	7. Chapter 7

Andrew dragged the creature Kreacher into Freddy Riley's electric Tesla car. The emo grave man didnt know what it was, despite the fact the bumper stickers were loudly "I DRIVE A TESLA AND YOU DONT", right along side "I believe in equality that every religon SUCKS go SCIENCE" and "Nerdy is the new sexy". Andrew, for once, was lucky he was ill8terate.  
Freddy riley pressed a button to open hjs car door at a snails pace. Andrew didnt know cars that didnt neigh, but he knew that the car had a door handle that was much faster.  
Finally, Freddy sakd, "uhmmmm are you gonnamstsnd around or are you gonna put him in the car? Time is money andnyou alrrady owe me 5k, buddy."  
Andrew was about to throw the lanky man in before the lawyer hotly scretched, "WAIT YOU'LL GET POOR PEOPLE BLOOD EVERYWHERE DO U KNOW HOW HARD THAT IS TO CLEAN OUT"  
Andrew mad e aquiet "grrrrr bark" noise before freddy pushed him out of the way and laid out a blanket on the backseat, stating "this js where me and my wife made love, this exact blanket"  
Amdrew was unphased and continued on his task of setting the grubby man in the backseat. He heard a moan errupt fro the man, but ignored it. Two times can be an honest mistake, he reasured himself.  
Andrew, got in the passamfer seat and did not buckle up, because again, he didnt ever hear abt a car thatndidnt neigh. Freddy rileh got in after the long transition of the car door being lifted up. He got in, adjusted his cash-shaped trinket on his rear-view mirror, then shifted his car or however ylu drive and sped off, 35 miles over the speed limit.  
"Now the man im going to is pure evil" freddy said, in a sexy snarl, "hes like real fucked up."  
Andrew stayed quiet, as he was still brooding over the mcr concert being cancelled. Freddy seductively decided to go on, "I bet youre wondering what i mean"  
"Grrr...bark" Andrew queitly wimpered, almost inaudibly  
"He's one of those commieunists. You know, hate landlords and money and freedom" freddy went on. Andrew did not care. He heard another moan from the back seat. At this point, he was hoping it was the theif, or maybe sometjing to put him out of his misr hearing this stupid conversation. Freddy kept going on almost unintelligabky about hating communists and stealing someones wife. It was quite annoying, Andrew thought. He dug his corpse-mud covered shoes into the new leather harder. It's the little victlries in life.


	8. Chapter 8

Freddy riley blasted some atheist music as he realized that Andrew didnt care to hear about how he ruined another man's life and that man's daughters life as well. he sung loudly and crudely, making Andrew regret this in the first place. He looked back at the theif, wondering how he wasnt waking up from this. Who was this man, this....creature.........  
What felt like an eternity later, they arrived at a small building on the other outskirts of town. it was fancy, but it was no church. Freddy riley agressively hit the button to open his car door slowly again. Andrew, like a normal person, used the door handle. He had to wait for the lawyer to seductively slunk over and open up the door to the backseat, where the theif laid, now on the floor because he was not buckled in.  
"FUCK NOW I HAVE POOR PEOPLE BLOOD ON MY CAR. FUCK." Lawyer screamed. he started making a scnee but andrew wanted this done as soon as possible. he dragged out the theif onto the gravel and started dragging him inside. after his moment, lawyer stormed ahead into the building. He did not hold the door open, so andrew had to prop his shovel up to keep it open  
"WHERE ARE YOU CARL" Lawyer screamed at the top of his lungs. Seeminly, no one was in the building. The lights rattled.  
"all you fucking goths are the same" freddy riley sexily hissed as he walked further in, "HELLLOOOOOOO"  
finally, just as andrew finished dragigng the theif in, a man emerged.  
"there you are, the commie man himself" freddy riley hissed, arching his back like some sort of cat.  
"mmm mmm mmm mm mrmrmr" the figure replied, mask covering his mouth as he spoke, making him unintelligable.  
"ok, now we gotta dispose of a body"  
"mmm mrmrmrmrmmmm mrrrmmm" the figure replied, glancing over at the emo man....once their eyes met, there was a moment of solidarity...another mcr fan was in the room.....


	9. Chapter 9

"Oooga," Krechter creaturily thouhht to himself. where was he... all he could see was a blanket under him that read "I ONLY BELIEVE IN MYSELF" in cutesy hand writing. He started to hear people talk as he came too, namely, about wife stealing.  
"Yeah and then i ruined his arms factory. and the circus. you know how they went under? ME."  
kreacher had no idea what was going on. instead, he decided to krech-sleep it off.  
BUMP.  
Ouch, kreacher moaned in pain as the breaks slammed and he was on the ground, still staring at the pink fuzzy blanket that was causing him to break out.  
"DID YOU SEE HIM? I KNOW THE LIGHT WASNT RED YET" he heard the lawyter screech. where was ghost boy...he cranked his neck to see a figure in the other seat up front... was this him? Kreacher no care.  
soon enough, kreacher had fallen back asleep thinking of kreach-crimes and eating kreatchurmunonion cookies. Ah, this wasthe life.  
he was awoken again, opening his eyes a tiny bit to see himself dragged on gravel. He heard the lawyer screetching more up ahead, sexily, something about communisim and capitalism cannot fail. He did not understand these words.   
"OUGH PAIN.." Kreacher yelped as he was hit on the head by the door of the building he was getting dragged into...As he was passing out, he noticed it was ghhost emo man dragging him, looking back with a disgusted face...


	10. Chapter 10

"mmmm mmm mrmrmrm" the gray haired man, vauely resembling karl marx said.  
"KARL MARX I DEMAND YOU TAKE OFF THAT MASK BEFORE I SUE YOU FOR REFUSING ME AS A CUSTOMER" lawyer sexily hissed. Andrew was left in a staring match with the gray haired young karl marx.  
Aesop carl whipped off his mask, revealing his beautiful lips, fluttering his long lashes, "I said, this guy reeks. I know, because i am an embalmer"  
"yea we need him embalmed" layer said, unbuttoning his shirt. aesop noteably was bending backwards to avoid the sexy rays coming off the steamy lawyer. andrew was just sighing, finally dropping the legs of the theif.  
"can you take him out? he's hurting my nose" aesop said, as he put up his mask again.  
"no we need him embalmed" lawyer said, "and if you dont i will sue you for MURDER"  
aesop stared. looked at andrew. looked at andrew, then looked at lawyer, but quickly looked at theif who he also looked away from quickly.  
"ok fine bring him to the morgue" aesop said, rushing ahead. lawyer tried to sexily shake his hand while he was shaking his hips, but aesop quickly refused and went ahead.  
andrew sighed. this was yet another horrible thing to do, aka, drag this theif further.  
"can you guys help me" he whispered. no one answered. he quietly said "grrrrr...bark bark" and followed them down the stairs, theifs head bobbing.


	11. Chapter 11

"mmm mrmrmrmr mrm rmrmmr" aesop said quite hotly with his nice voice. He hit on the examining table which was at least nicely washed down because he has standards.   
"ugh you commies and yolur russian speak english" freddy snarled, posing in a sexy pose.  
aesop took off his mask yet again and said, "put him on the table"  
Freddy the slug and Andrew the worm stared at each other. dragging was one thing, but lifting the whole creature up on this table? impossible.  
"come on we dont have all day grave boy" freddy said, twirling his pumpkin stringy hair strands like a tempting vixen. andrew softly spoke back, "i dont think i can lift him"  
"HUH? and why not? dont you dig graves for a living? tch. cant perform inhuman tasks? yet another check mark for atheism. your turn, jesus boy"  
andrew let out a small grr snarl bark before attemtping to lift the theif. he got half way, when theif started drooling, which made andrew silently yelp because thats fucking nasty.  
aesop noticed the grave man struggle, and goths need to stick together so he went over nervously to the grave emo man,   
"comrade" he spoke in a soft tone, "let me help"  
the two men together tried to lift the gross theif who was still drooling, avoiding his spittle. however, they got barely any further because they were both noodly.  
"let me try, you poor peasants" lawyer said, lifting up theif...by an inch.  
"cant you examine him on the floor like they did with lenin?" lawyer said, making no sense  
"no" aesop said, putting his mask up again  
"then like, embalm him on the floor anyway" freddy riley said, ignoring what the embalmer had said.  
andrew backed away from the specimen quickly, like he wanted to do the moment he saw him. Aesop carl put gloves over his gloves. it was going to be a long day.


	12. Chapter 12

aesop washed his gloved hands in hot water, almost as hot as himself as he was, boiling. Freddy Riley had unbuttoned more of his shirt now, revealing very patchy chest. Aesop tried to look away, because damn, he was looking like a corpse over there. He was almost confused who he was supp[osed to be embalming  
Aesop felt awkward around all these people...he stared...he looked back at Amdrew who looked missrable,maybe just because he was emo, and then to freddy, who he wished he coild forget. He was silent. Freddy sexily snarled, moving his tie rhymicly, "tik tock commie boy" he said mockingly.  
"The proletariat will rise up and dethrone your capitalistic kings" aesop hissed silently, sadly it came out as 'mmmrmrmrmrmrmrmrmr' due to his mask  
"Mrmrmrmrmrmrm"  
"Whats he saying?" Freddy said, unbuttoning another button seductively to Andrew who had started crawling to the staricase, shovel in his arms. Aesop revealed his kissable lips once more, "I feel a bit awkward with yoy guys watching"  
"HA THATS WHAT WE SAID WITH THE RUSSIAN SPIES, GET USED TO IT" freddy yelled, literallt waking rhe dead.  
'Ough, where is kreacher?' The creature kreacher said grumbling, holding his head  
'I cant embalm him, hes living. I closed rhat chapter of my life' aesop said, slowly taking off his gloves now that he was greatful he didnt have to prod the thei any longer.  
"Huh i guess the dead can rise" freddy said, buttoning up his shirt. "No looksies for the likes of YOU"  
FREDDY pointed nastily at kreacher. Aesop stared at the miserable loking man. He sighed and was about to speak when suddenly, Andrew came rushing over with his shovel  
"iN THE NAMW OF ANDREW KREISS AND CHRIST, DIE ZOMVIE!' Andrew bonked the kreacher yet again....


	13. Chapter 13

"mmm mrmrmr mrmrmrrmrr" Aesop sighed. Freddy put his leg up on the wall, putting his hands through his hair again, "Great going, jesus freak"  
"GRRrrr..bark bark" Andrew wimpered again silently. Freddy sighed, looking back down at the grubby looking theif. Aesop took off his mask again, revealing his beautiful mouth yet again, realizing no one could understand him yet again, "Reguardless if he's dead, I do require payment"  
"Isnt that anti-communist?"  
"We are forced into a system that requires us to play its game, if it was anyone else, i'd excuse the debt. However, I do not respect you nor your money-grubbing idols" Aesop said, putting his mask back on. Freddy huffed and popped off a button from his shirt in frustration. He tilted his head back to the grave keeper man standing idly by with his shovel, "Can you drop that fucking thing already? Makes you look even creepier"  
"I cant" Andrew said in his soft whispy tone.  
"Why not?' Freddy sexily snarled  
"Its my best friend' Andrew said, looking away from everyone, including his best friend; the shovel. The room was silent, even more so than before. After a moment, aesop spoke again, "mmm mm mmm mrmrmrmr mmm mmm mmrrr"  
Andrew nodded in solidarity. Granted, he had no idea what he said, but he figured it was something about breakinf the chains of the bourgeosies and how class opression causes a rift in relationships and human interaction.  
"So, check his pulse" Freddy sexily and hotly yelled, posing with his shirt open enough that you could see a vague tattoo on his right pec.  
"I cant, im a grave keeper" andrew said, in a low tone.  
"I cant, im an embalmer" aesop said, taking off his mask again, revealing his lucious lips yet again.  
"Wait, you cant and youre an embalmer? What the fuck you pleb?" Freddy said, running his hands on his body.  
"I didnt go to medical school, i went...." aesop stopped in his tracks. No one wanted to have him to continue this sentence.  
"Well, i guess we'll assume he's dead' freddy said, ripping off his shirt, revealing his mcr tattoo on his pec. It was a full picture of gerard way, his exposed eye landing right on the jipple.  
Aesop Karl Marx and Andrew the Krystler stared. Freddy looked at the biys. He snarled yet again, "Yes, i am one of you"   
"Mmm mm mmrrr" aesop gasped  
"You can't be..." andrew said, moving his lips but not making noises.  
"Yes, I stan gerard way and mcr. What about it?"


	14. Chapter 14

"Its my money and I need it now!" Lawyers cellphone blared. He, like most capitalists, did not use adblocker because he believed he was robbing companies and actually enjoyed commercials because hes a sicko. The trio of mcr fans and kreacher all awkwardly stood around, none wanting to address the probelm at hamd. Freddy riley boomed over yet another annoying ad, "Hes still drooling, do dead people do that?"  
"Maybe one of yoy guys should just like, double murder him" aesop muttered, actually making moise through his mask for once, his maiden lips not exposed, "didnt yoy guys come here becausw you thought he was dead anyway"  
"Yes but if we try to kill him its not as easy to pass it off as self defense." Freddy snarled. Andrew was back in his corner, wallowing with his shovel, running his hands along its edges, comforting it..  
"That doesnt make sense but ok mdmrmrmrmrmrmrmrm mrmrmrmrmr" aesop said back, looking again at the wretched creature kreacher on the ground, drooling. Aesop sighed, glove time again. He put on another pair of gloves and readjusted his mask. He bent down to the sorry sap on the ground snd prodded him with a makeup brush.  
"We dont have all day, lenin" freddy hissed, taking a selfie of his exposed nipple tattoo, "dont excuse me, this is for my wife who i stole from a guy"  
Andrew and Karl Marx ignored the lawyer yet again.  
"Say, Andrew, what if he rises from the dead again?" Aesop said in a soft and very attractive tone because not only was he attractive, but he was an attractive communist.  
"I might hit him again."  
"Would yoy do that if it were jesus?" Aesop said, making eye contact with the corpse man. Andrew looked away, then aesop did the same becausw they both hated eye contact.  
"He doesnt look a thing like jesus, but je, talks like a gentlement like whenyou were young" Freddy ohone went off. No more adds, he wanted to listen to the killers.  
"Think about it befors you attack him again, please' Aesop said, still hesitant to touch the theif in front of him.  
"He stole wafers"  
"And?"  
"Thats a vrime punishable by death" andrew growled, barked and grrr'd


	15. Chapter 15

"So, are we just going to wait around?" Freddy the lawyer snarled sexily, "I Have to go graffititi the old arms factory again"  
"i mean im not checking for a pulse and idk if i wanna touch him further" Aesop grumbled, revealing his mouth for a brief moment.  
"Oh, I have an idea." Freddy the riley said, looking over at Andrew who emmitted a quiet grrr snarl bark hiss. Andrew averted his gaze quickly, hating eyecontact from the dweeby looking man before him. Not today, Freddy Riley, nor any other day.  
Freddy Riley approached the grave man, who just flinched away. He may have showered, but his aura was off and even Andrew, who was illiterate, could read that. Freddy Riley stood inches away from Andrew and yet again put his hands on his lack of hips and seductively leaned forward, "hand it over" he snarled.  
"Excuse me?" Andrew said, not willing to give into eye contact.   
"Hand me your shovel" Freddy riley hissed again, his voice honeyed with disaster.  
"I cant." Andrew replied, holding shovely the shovel closer again.  
"And why not?" Freddy Riley barked.  
"Because...It wont work for you." Andrew came up with an excuse. Freddy Riley stared. Next thing mr Karl Marx knew is The Grtave Boy And Lawyer Man were engaged in a heated tug-of-war  
"Hand it over, church boy!" Freddy Riley snarled.  
"No! I don't trust you to love it like I do!" Andrew begged, before bark snarl grrr woof wooff woof woff woof bark bark bark bark.  
Finally, Freddy Riley pulled a dirty move, which was making Andrew see his awful Gerard Way Nipple Tattoo. This blinded Andrew for a split second, making Freddy RIley able to get the shovel away from the wimpering man in front of him. He posed provacatively with the shovel before saying, yet again, "Check again for atheistm. Where is your god now?"  
Andrew, defeated, slunked down into a corner and turned away from the group. Karl Marx went to comfort him. Freddy the lawyer grinned, "Ok, now my plan..."  
Freddy laweyrt decided to prod the theif with the shovel. Aesop, putting a hand on his comrade watched him do so.  
"He's ought to show life if we do this." Freddy riley said, "If not, well... Fucking emablm him already you commie"  
"Your fee is doubled due to your awful actions, Freddy" Aesop wouldve said if he wasn't murmering "mmm mmrmrmrmrmr mrmrmrmrmmrmmrmrmrmmm rmrmmrmr"  
"Whatever, I dont care what you just said because Im rich and have a wife" Freddy hissed. Andrew was silent, the room became dead silent, and then...there was a sudden "Ough"


	16. Chapter 16

"Oooghaaa" The suspsected corpse of Kreacher called out. Andrew went to attack, but he had to be quickly saved by Aesop Karl Marx, who helped steady him like the firm grip of socialist ideals of coming together as a community. Freddy Riley stood around, audibly sighing. Andrew was shaking, he qas really bsck from the dead……  
"Anyway im here to sue you, you wretched naughty little thing" freddy lawyer said sexiliy, huffing and puffing. Kreacher stared at thengroup of mcr fans. He scurried backwards into a corner, "Kreacher...where is lreacher?"  
"Youre in my morgue" Aesop sexily said, wiping away Andrews foaming mouth. He looked back at Andrew, then Freddy, then Kreacher, then Andre, then Feddy, "He didnt get bit by this guy, right? Im worried about rBies"  
"I dont think so" Freddy said, running his hands on his own chest. Andrew grr'd and Barked, feeling defenseless without his shovel. Kreacher kept trying to back into a corner, Nd then took out a flashlight and shined it into aesops eyes. Aesop stared, blankely.  
"Grrrrrrr if i had my shovel" andrew whined near silently. Aesop put back on his mask, not wanting to catch andrews rabbies. Andrew tried to claw at him from across the room, and krecher shined his light kn him, doing nothing yet again.  
"Anyway, do YOU habe a lawyer, you beast?" Freddy said, approaching kreacher sith a shovel.  
"Kreacher has done no crimes!!! Kreacher swearss,,,,"  
"Huhhh? What about what ykure wearing? THATS a crime itself!" Freddy said, exposing his gerard way nipple tattoo again, as well as his one-sided nipple ring on the other side.  
"Kr..kreacher doesnt understand! Kreacher,,,kreacher is honest man..." he said curling into a kreach-ball  
"Well, your ass is getting suedd to montana and back again, buddy! Get ready! " freddy said, leaning in close to kreacher. Andrew And Esop just starsd. It was best to take the backsest and address andrews rabies.  
"Please, kreacher wants to go home, kreacher is living kreacher..."  
"COULDVE FOOLED US, PLEB" fREDDY said, tzking out yet another cellphond, making s phone call, "hello? 911? We habe an infeststion… of a fucking kreacher!"  
Kreacher whined. Andrew started barking again, breaking free of Aesops lovely arms, rushing at reddy and tackling him.   
"What the fucj i am ur laweyr!!! You respect me !!!" Freddy snarled naughtitly, biting his hangnails. Andrew clawed him, and took what was rightfulyl his, shovley the shovel. He got back up and looked Keeacher dead in the eyes. The room went silent,,,


	17. Chapter 17

"P-please...Kreacher did nothing wrong!"  
"Bark...grrrrrrrrr" Andrew snarled at the man standing before him, rage in his eyes. He wouldnt have gotten to this point if not for the shovel incident as well. Kreacher shined his flashlight on him, causing Andrew to slightly recoil.  
" Ah, vampires will hurt you, mr kreacher," Freddy the Riley said hotly, his garlic breath evident, as he just sprayed garlic cologne in his mouth.  
"Please...Kreacher wants to live!"  
"You arent even living, you're a zombie!" Andrew said in a loud whisper.  
"Comrade, we dont know his status, let us not make hasty conclusions" Aesop Marx warned.  
"You wouldnt even check him if he was alive or not!" he hissed in a quiet tone.  
"im not a doctor, i dont want to make a mistake" he assured, his calming voice vibrating in the room like a sweet song.  
"K-kreacher can prove he's human! Kreacher is not zombie!" Kreacher kept howling in a panicked state, trying to back up the wall.  
"How so?" Andrew hissed.  
"OH, you don't know?" Freddy Lawqyer bursted into the convo, placing his greasy hands on Andrew, obviously filled with lawyer grease.  
"Grrr...bark bar bark bark bark bark" Andrew fired back, taking his eyes off theif who tried crawling away. He did it at such a slow pace though, he went no where.  
"Its obvious, buddy" Lawyer said sexily and slimiley at the same time  
"Grrrrr" whcih was code for "Get your hands off me, poser"  
"You must. Kiss His lips."  
The room went silent yet again...........................


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OH? THE FINALE? Idk

"grrrr you want me to do WHAT" Andrew hollared quietly. Freddy Shifted his weight again while holding the spindly straw of a man.  
"You know, kiss, makeout, french, wet the lips, do some dribbling, get sloppy with it, make two into one a la tete. smoochy smoochin. Kissy wissin. Smashing the mouths together. necking. embaressing lip side. Lip service. A little applying lipstick together. A little dosey do with the mouth. A little sucking face and making lace. Canoodling with your stroodling. Parking the car in the front and going in. A little sucking face, a little macking and chaping. A little-" Lawyer was cut off by the communist standing in the room, "Please, just say touch lips for communism"  
"Why dont you do it, Riley?" Andrew barked barkedb bakrebd lanrbeld bakred barked barked.  
"BECAUSEW you got YOURSELF into this mess, catholic corpse BOY" freddy smacked his back, with what would be normally no force but bc andrew was a stick he fell over onto the theif.  
The two locked eyes, Andrews soft, glove covered hands craddled the mans face accidentally. They looked into each others button eyes, longing. The tension was so thick, it could cut a knife, or in freddys case, a extra greasy salami sandwitch with extra mayo, extra tomato, hold the lettuce and add anchovies, please.   
The men couldnt take their grasps off eachother, mainly because andrew was weak and theif was in a panicked state, so much so he started screaming with only a gutteral, soft noise coming out. Andrew stared...Why, why did he find this...attractive? Startling... No, kind of... God, god why have you forsaken Andrew like this?  
The two moved in closer, Andre closed his eyes.... No, this was awful, the smelly theif.....................he covered his nose and went in.  
"EWWWWWWWWWW I WAS JOKING" Freddy ridely said, cackling seducitvely. However, Andrew leaned back, staring the kreacher in his theify eyes, one colored like discolored liverwurst, the other, like moldy bread thats sat so long its turned blue. Andrew moved his emo bangs slightly, letting out a soft, "N...nya...rawrt........."  
"K..kreacher heart...feels like its expanding..."  
"P..purr...." Andrew said.  
"oh fucks sake even me and my wife who i stole from my friend and his factory werent this bad please get a room" freddy snarled, revealing his full chest hair, full of patchy fur.  
"For once, I agree with the capitalist, comrades. This is one thing that I believe needs to be privatized. Please, dismiss at once." Aesop murmered, his beautiful red lips thick with shimmery gloss, as he was reapplying his lipgloss, cherry flavored because everyone loves cherry.   
The duo finally parted, awkwardly getting up. They looked at eachother, then the other two in the room. The pair latched hands and walked out  
"HEY WHAT ABOUT SUING HIS GUTS OUT!?!!?" Freddy said, completely ripping his shirt in two. The two men were already long gone out of eartshot, ready to begin a new chapter.


	19. Chapter 19

CHAPTER 19: DIGGING DEEPER

"Listen, i know i tried to you know, murder you and sent you to the great abyss, because theres no hell-- CHECK MATE FOR ATHEISM, but..." Freddy the riley went off,s taring at the two men in his office, stinking up the place with the scent of corpse mud and theif, "BUT I AM HERE, FOR ANOTHER BUISNESS OFFER BOYS!!!"  
"Gr....snarl...BARK BARK" the corpsey catholicy man whispered across the table, covered in what was suspected to be grease. Theif looked around the room, trying to find the most expensive thing as he tried to put his corpse dirt shoes on freddy lawerys table, which was also covered with pictures of many women and pro-capitalism things.  
"Now, do you boys know what a timeshare is?" Freddy said,a jusdtsitng his glasses lawyerly. Theif said, "Kreacher doesnt share."  
"I share because i have learned about communism from aeosp karl marx" andrew whispered, in a voice no one could hear.  
"Ok, well, a timeshare is where you can like, shablam and all that far away, maybe with the wife of someone you helped out in buissness, you know? For a little bit of time a year." Freddy said, adjusting one of the many photogframes on his desk.  
"can kreacher steal form it."  
"No, youd own it. sort of." Freddys aid, adjusting his lawyer glasses yet again, then adjusting his overbite of teeth.  
"Doesnt sound very catholic. i am not even married" andrew said in a hushed tone.  
"How expeensive is that certificate" kreacher pointed to an obviously printed certificate encased in glass.  
"What? no, stop looking at that, you monster. Look at these timeshare options. You've ever been to florida? Huh?"  
"Kreacher banned from florida."  
"You cant be banned from a state. Tch, unless you're like me, an atheist who has to deal with atheismphobia...." Kreddy riley said whistfully. Both men ignored him, "Anywya, you cant be banned if u own a piece of land, like THIS bad boy here. 100 square feet, on the ocean, for only... 20,000$"  
"Kreacher will take this, yes" kreacher said. Freddy riely smiled and said, "GREAT! You can go next week, i will draw up the papoer work!!"  
"Onlu edgar can do that.. have u seen his art?" andrew whispered yet again, but was ignored so he barked snarled grrr ruff ruff RUFF RUFF

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wanted 2 tie this into my other fic Flo Rida pls read cool thanks byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


End file.
